Co-Parenting After Divorce in Georgia: What You Should Know
Let’s be honest – the idea of co-parenting can feel like an impossible feat, especially after a divorce that might have left both of you with wounds that seem irreparable. But here’s the truth: co-parenting is not just a choice; it’s a crucial responsibility in raising your children well.
Co-parenting takes a lot of work, and it isn’t instantaneous for most divorced couples. But the results of successful co-parenting on your children are well worth it. At The Edwards Law Group, we understand the challenges that divorced couples like you face when it comes to co-parenting, and we’re here to show you that it’s not only possible, but incredibly rewarding.
Understanding Co-Parenting
Co-parenting is a shared commitment between divorced or separated parents to collaborate in raising their children. The root of the term, “Co-,” brings forth notions of cooperation, coordination, collaboration, and agreement. It’s important to recognize, however, that if a parent doesn’t immediately concur with you, it doesn’t necessarily mean a lack of interest in co-parenting. Instead, successful co-parenting necessitates a significant amount of compromise, picking your battles wisely, thoughtful communication, and skilled negotiation. It’s about putting aside personal differences and focusing on the needs and best interests of your kids. While it might feel challenging, remember that your children deserve to have both parents actively involved in their lives.
Is Co-Parenting Possible After a Contentious Divorce?
Absolutely! While it’s natural for emotions to run high after a contentious divorce, eventually, (and especially when you let them) these feelings will subside and you can move on to have at least a civil co-parenting relationship.
Divorce doesn’t always solve the problems you and your ex-spouse had when you were married. If you had communication problems as a married couple, you are likely still going to have the same communication problems as co-parents. Unless you take proactive steps to avoid or mitigate the causes of these problems. To do so, it’s crucial to shift the focus toward what truly matters – your children’s future. Co-parenting can provide stability and a sense of security for your children, even amid your differences.
Co-Parenting vs. Parallel Parenting
Co-parenting will not look the same for every divorced couple. Some may choose a co-parenting approach, where they actively communicate and cooperate on all aspects of parenting. Others may opt for parallel parenting, where communication is minimal, and each parent manages their responsibilities independently. Regardless of the choice, both approaches can be effective, depending on your situation.
Tips for Successfully Co-Parenting
Co-parenting can be very different from one set of parents to the next, but there are foundational steps to it:
- Communicate, communicate, communicate: We’ve said it before and we’ll repeat it: If you’re not communicating, you’re not co-parenting. Keep lines of communication open, respectful, and focused on your children. Use tools like email or co-parenting apps to share important information.
- ALWAYS Put the Children First: Always make decisions with your children’s best interests in mind and avoid involving them in adult conflicts.
- Consistency and Routine: Maintain a consistent schedule for visitation, activities, and routines in both households to provide stability for your children.
- Respect Boundaries: Respect each other’s boundaries and personal lives. Focus solely on parenting matters when communicating.
- Flexible Approach: Be willing to adapt and compromise when necessary. Life is unpredictable, and flexibility can go a long way in co-parenting.
Helpful Co-Parenting Resources
There are also various resources available to support you in your co-parenting journey:
- Therapeutic Support: Family therapy or counseling can offer a safe space for addressing co-parenting challenges and finding solutions.
- Parenting Plans: Collaborate with a family law attorney to create a comprehensive parenting plan that outlines responsibilities, schedules, and dispute resolution methods.
- Parenting Workshops: There are parenting workshops that provide guidance and tools for effective co-parenting. UptoParents.org offers free online classes about co-parenting, as well as informative videos and articles.
- Parenting Tools: Parenting scheduling and messaging apps like Our Family Wizard, Talking Parents, and 2houses can help you and your ex-spouse communicate more effectively and coordinate schedules more easily.
- Parenting books and other resources: Mom’s House, Dad’s House by Isolina Ricci, Ph.D. is a great book for co-parents, while Dinosaurs Divorce by Laurene Krasny Brown and Marc Brown is a helpful one for children.
Just Three Things
All of this may seem overwhelming, but successful co-parenting can be condensed into three basic things:
- Don’t undermine your co-parent. Don’t speak ill of them or undermine their authority in front of your children, even if you disagree with the decisions they are making (unless it is harming the child). If you disagree with them, discuss matters privately away from your children.
- Present a united front. You and your ex-spouse may have disagreements, but when it comes to big issues, especially those affecting your children, you need to be on the same page. Children need consistency; they don’t need to see you and your ex-spouse bickering over every little thing.
- Communicate. Co-parenting can never work without communication. It can be difficult not to let past issues and feelings creep in, but it is crucial to keep communication focused and respectful to establish a healthy co-parenting relationship.
While the path of co-parenting may seem daunting, it can, and will, get better with time, effort, and teamwork. Our team at The Edwards Law Group can be part of that team. We’re here to support you and help you create a positive co-parenting environment that benefits your children’s well-being. Reach out to us today to learn how we can assist you on this journey.
